To say this week has been stinking from the word go is a grand understatement. I have been feeling distant and lonely and very depressed. Home is not the salve it should be and school is pressure because finals are coming up.
A not-sucky thing was a Labor and Employment Law Society event I went to last night. I had fun, learned a lot and made a couple of contacts. I also discovered this morning that I am the Vice President of the Society, having contested the post unopposed. That was nice to wake up to.
One other tiny sliver of a silver lining and that was 2L registration last night. I managed to register with relative ease and only had 2 issues. I got closed out of Professional Responsibility and my Spring part of Explaining Law to the Public was showing up as an error. Both got sorted before I went to bed shortly after 1 a.m. Assistant Registrar Raymond Grant is a rock star, a god, a saint and an angel who walks on earth.
So here's the line-up:
FALL
Explaining Law to the Public I
Professional Responsibility
Evidence
Employment Discrimination
Memo and Brief Writing
Justice Action Center Colloquim course
SPRING
Explaining Law to the Public II
Sexuality and the Law
Employment Law
Alternative Dispute Resolution
Law & Literature
Intro to Constitutional Law
Now I'm exhausted. I have an interview with Prof Contracts from last semester for a TA position and I do not feel like I could put together a coherent sentence. I also have the Leg Reg reading for tomorrow morning and there is an event I'd like to attend this evening. But I am so tired and bleary-eyed. And midnight registration has very little to do with it.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
tonite's the nite
The day every 1L looks forward to: registering for 2L! Actually, the last day of exams is probably more on track with reality, but go with me here.
We register at 12:01 am for the 2L year. Yep. You read right. Tonight. I'm sure there's some great reason that has to do with a server, but, motherfucker, I rather be sleeping.
Here's a good one. I almost would be. I thought registration was tomorrow night and made plans to suit. I happen to overhear someone talking about tonight and wondered if they got some kind of special permission to register 24 hours ahead. Who do I have to blow to get that?
Turns out, I wuz so wrong, I couldn't be wronger if I was a baseball! I can't imagine what I would have done if I came to school in the morning and realized I had not registered and everything I wanted was closed off!
I think I'm fairly safe in the classes I've chosen for my concentration. What worries me are the mandatory classes I have to take: Evidence, Professional Responsibility and Constitutional Law. Everyone wants this professor or that, and I am no different. I've done some asking around about profs I don't know for the first 2 courses and think I made some good choices.
The other classes should be easy enough to swing, I hope. It's getting a bit nerve-wracking as the day draws to a close. I'm glad I will be at Labor and Employment Law Society shindig tonight (even though I'm very sleepy) because it will help pass the time. I'll get home after 10 and will annoy the husband until it's time to register.
I fully expect to be wired afterwards and asked John to take the kid to school in the morning. I don't have to be in school till 2, so I can sleep nice and late. Hopefully, it will be a happy sleep.
We register at 12:01 am for the 2L year. Yep. You read right. Tonight. I'm sure there's some great reason that has to do with a server, but, motherfucker, I rather be sleeping.
Here's a good one. I almost would be. I thought registration was tomorrow night and made plans to suit. I happen to overhear someone talking about tonight and wondered if they got some kind of special permission to register 24 hours ahead. Who do I have to blow to get that?
Turns out, I wuz so wrong, I couldn't be wronger if I was a baseball! I can't imagine what I would have done if I came to school in the morning and realized I had not registered and everything I wanted was closed off!
I think I'm fairly safe in the classes I've chosen for my concentration. What worries me are the mandatory classes I have to take: Evidence, Professional Responsibility and Constitutional Law. Everyone wants this professor or that, and I am no different. I've done some asking around about profs I don't know for the first 2 courses and think I made some good choices.
The other classes should be easy enough to swing, I hope. It's getting a bit nerve-wracking as the day draws to a close. I'm glad I will be at Labor and Employment Law Society shindig tonight (even though I'm very sleepy) because it will help pass the time. I'll get home after 10 and will annoy the husband until it's time to register.
I fully expect to be wired afterwards and asked John to take the kid to school in the morning. I don't have to be in school till 2, so I can sleep nice and late. Hopefully, it will be a happy sleep.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Larissa
When you heard her talk, you looked around for Patty or Selma. Or that woman Cheri Oteri played on SNL. You knew that voice meant you ball was never coming back from over her fence. Or you WALKED past her driveway. Never ran. And you left her dog alone.
But when you turned around, what you see is Gorgeous. Heavy brown hair, with reddish tones, bedroom eyes and slim thighs. Her beauty was like a Lara poem and it was no mistake her mother named her Larissa. Next to her, nearly always, was Martha. Not even her clunky gray wrap could hide her stunning body. She chose to uglify herself, tying her dirty blonde hair into a tight ponytail, which only emphasized her well-scrubbed, All-American, girl-next-door face.
But that voice. That Old Bostonian with a hint of Adirondacks cultivated only by years of smoking 2 packs a day since she was 14. Larissa got invited to her first boy-girl party and cadged a pack of her mom's smokes to make an impression. She kissed her first boy and he told everyone he fingered her during two minutes in the closet and she got a "rep". A week later, she kicked him in the 'nads and the jokes stopped. To her face, at least.
She met Martha in college and they were never apart. But they'd been not apart for nearly nine years and life had grown into a comfortable routine. However, their bodies synced for the last nine years meant that they got their periods at the same time. One night a month, they came alive. Tampax-buying night also meant cheap boxes of Chardonnay from the Piggley-Wiggley and mozzarella breadsticks from Pizza Hut.
But when you turned around, what you see is Gorgeous. Heavy brown hair, with reddish tones, bedroom eyes and slim thighs. Her beauty was like a Lara poem and it was no mistake her mother named her Larissa. Next to her, nearly always, was Martha. Not even her clunky gray wrap could hide her stunning body. She chose to uglify herself, tying her dirty blonde hair into a tight ponytail, which only emphasized her well-scrubbed, All-American, girl-next-door face.
But that voice. That Old Bostonian with a hint of Adirondacks cultivated only by years of smoking 2 packs a day since she was 14. Larissa got invited to her first boy-girl party and cadged a pack of her mom's smokes to make an impression. She kissed her first boy and he told everyone he fingered her during two minutes in the closet and she got a "rep". A week later, she kicked him in the 'nads and the jokes stopped. To her face, at least.
She met Martha in college and they were never apart. But they'd been not apart for nearly nine years and life had grown into a comfortable routine. However, their bodies synced for the last nine years meant that they got their periods at the same time. One night a month, they came alive. Tampax-buying night also meant cheap boxes of Chardonnay from the Piggley-Wiggley and mozzarella breadsticks from Pizza Hut.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
undecided about blog post title
So I found out that there are slots open in a project-based learning course and I applied for it. It's a 2-semester course and I had to pore over my schedule yet again. I signed up for a second class over the summer. I'm now taking Drafting for Contracts and Corporations and all the classes are from 6-9-something at night!
I'm also job-hunting like crazy. My Judicial Externship does not seem to be panning out and I am now panicking about summer employment. I'm applying all over the place but most places would have already filled their summer vacancies and I'd be lucky to get an interview at this stage. Personally, I won't die without a job. Professionally, it feels like suicide.
I am excited about the project course, which does mean that I will have one less exam per semester! However, I had a look at my Spring exam schedule and I have 3 exams in 3 days! Ack!
I'm also job-hunting like crazy. My Judicial Externship does not seem to be panning out and I am now panicking about summer employment. I'm applying all over the place but most places would have already filled their summer vacancies and I'd be lucky to get an interview at this stage. Personally, I won't die without a job. Professionally, it feels like suicide.
I am excited about the project course, which does mean that I will have one less exam per semester! However, I had a look at my Spring exam schedule and I have 3 exams in 3 days! Ack!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
and so it begins
Man, I miss "Babylon 5"!!!
The gunning is in full force now that we're all competing for fewer class spaces next year. I knew it was coming, but it still hit me splat in the face. I guess I have no interest in not helping people, but I'm also not really advertising the fact.
It's seems a little less real, this semester, that exams are so close. A month left of school. A month left of classes.
Also, 2L registration is next Thursday. I just found out I got into the Justice Action Center and I'm seriously waffling about joining. I just spoke to a classmate, someone who has no stake in it whatsoever, and he gave me some good advice about joining. However, I had re re-adjust my Fall schedule and give up Professional Responsibility. What that does mean is that I don't have a class that starts before 2 for the entire Fall semester!
Also, no class on Fridays for the entire academic year!
I also realize that a lot of people I know will no longer be in many of my classes. It looks like my field of study is not the most popular choice! It will be tough to keep in touch even though we will be in the same place at the same time. And I will have to make new friends all over again. I guess that can go in the plus column for the JAC.
The gunning is in full force now that we're all competing for fewer class spaces next year. I knew it was coming, but it still hit me splat in the face. I guess I have no interest in not helping people, but I'm also not really advertising the fact.
It's seems a little less real, this semester, that exams are so close. A month left of school. A month left of classes.
Also, 2L registration is next Thursday. I just found out I got into the Justice Action Center and I'm seriously waffling about joining. I just spoke to a classmate, someone who has no stake in it whatsoever, and he gave me some good advice about joining. However, I had re re-adjust my Fall schedule and give up Professional Responsibility. What that does mean is that I don't have a class that starts before 2 for the entire Fall semester!
Also, no class on Fridays for the entire academic year!
I also realize that a lot of people I know will no longer be in many of my classes. It looks like my field of study is not the most popular choice! It will be tough to keep in touch even though we will be in the same place at the same time. And I will have to make new friends all over again. I guess that can go in the plus column for the JAC.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Machel at MSG
Just to put it out there, this is the first blog post using the Mac. We all welcome Lady Di to the fold. *crowd goes wild*
Also a warning: I is a Trini writing like a Trini, so read at your own risk of understanding.
Ok, Back to Bom.
On Wednesday, March 24, I saw a link on a friend's FB page to the NY Times about Machel Montano playing at the Garden on Friday, March 26. I didn't even stop to think. I immediately set the ticket-buying process in motion and called the husband to make sure we didn't have plans for Friday night or he didn't have plans of his own. I tell you, if he did, I was going to pull every feminine wile I had and beg, borrow and steal the rest to convince him to change HIS plans. His dream of a threesome was thisclose to coming true!
But, he didn't, I pressed buy! Gots me a front circle seat. A couple of years ago, I saw Machel at the same place and bought a cheap seat in the back. This time, I wanted him to sweat on mih!
I got to the Garden just minutes before 8, the scheduled start time, so I was glad not to have to wait for the to start. Mistake.
First up was Treveni, or some such band, I really couldn't tell you, and two Indian boys from the Bamboo calling the people place Madison Square GardenSZ. Fellas, if all you too stupid to pronounce the name of the biggest venue you will ever play, go back home and play at the Nagar. Dem boys was too happy to tell we that it was the first time Chutney ever make it to the Garden, and I coulda dead from shame. First of all, Machel did bring Drupati Ramgoonai when he was here the last time and, yes, she sing "Roll up de Tassa", the chutniest of all chutney soca next to "Lotay La", and wine up she waist all how. Dese two mooks couldn't wine for nothing. It really ent have no second of all.
Then they was finally done and I began to breathe once more. You getting the feeling I against chutney? Well, yes. I against chutney. Chutney soca, maybe, since its aim is actually a fusion of the two styles. But singing lawa music and calling it chutney isn't my cup of tea. It is divisive and promotes a hypocrisy I cannot stand. These same coolie people does let they daughter go to chutney shows and wine they ass down to the ground and love it, but wouldn't let the same girl children go to a tent or play mas because they might rub up on a black man. Kiss my ass, yes.
Ok. Back to Bom.
I got happy too soon, because the 2 boys announce Rikki Jai: "I say Rikki, you say Jai!". I sit down. Wait, I was already sitting down. No matter. I pull out my phone. Thank God I charged it before I left home. Rikki went on about how he didn't mind coming 2nd last year because he save the good stuff for the $2m pot this year. I hear so much about that $2m that I was ready to vomit. More about that to come.
Then Rikki Jai reminded us that we been fans for 20 years. And he bus out "Hold de Lata Mangeskar, gimme soca", and I realize I knew all the words and remember Rikki Jai in he two-tone shirts and shiny pants. He still favoring the shiny-ness, as per his suit, but all a we old now.
He sing something else and I can't tell what it is because I never hear it before and I was deep in "It" on my Android Kindle.
Then some announcer come on and try to tell some rather racist jokes and I steups up and started to play Solitaire. Like they feel we needed an intermission after half an hour of Chutney. I ready to cuss.
It was 9 o'clock before Mr. Man decide to grace the stage. Keep in mind MSG does kick he out at 11, so why he wasting my time with a shit DJ, I just didn't know.
Well, I have very few complaints after that. I jump. I wine left. I wine right. I wine down and I wine back up. It was just bes'. I seriously coulda get charge! (Btw, that is a kick-ass song! I like it more than "Advantageous" and not just cuz I in law school and de song name "Illegal"!)
Oh, and there was a tiger. Yes, a tiger. I am not sure what the hell that was about. Machel come on stage, get in a cage, and presto, zappo, there was a tiger in the cage. They wheel the cage off and Machel rise up from below the stage. Huh. I did try not to study it, but it really was just weird.
He could still wine and I had forgotten how charming his smile was. He wore what look a pair of pants made from vinyl. He even say, "Mih pants cyah take too much, eh!" He looked a little paunchy, but he was as dutty as ever.
After he kill we with the 2011 songs, he start to go back in times. He sang a couple songs by people who have died, Wayne Rodriguez and $hel $hok, and he bus out nearly all the Xtatic big tunes. Farmer was there, and Peter Lewis. And since I know Machel since he small and was "Too Young to Soca", that was my favorite part of the night.
Nah, I lie. He start the cannibal roar from "Congo Man" and I nearly die dead. Then Sparrow come out and I scream so hard, I had to take a drink of water. Sparrow looked so frail, his pigeon-toe chip look like a old man shuffle now. He was old when I was small, but his voice was still so powerful. "Congo Man" is my all-time favorite Sparrow calypso and I still remember when I was old enough to understand what the lyrics meant. Shock and awe! Especially when he drop the "You lie!" on you. Genius!
Then you can't have a King without a Queen, so Rose come out. I've never been a Rose fan. Not because I didn't like she, but she wasn't really on my radar. I knew "Fire in you Wire" and "Tempo" (which I love because my mother from San Fernando!). She was out of my picture when I was growing up.
She sing the two songs (really, the only ones I know!) and Machel call back out Sparrow and presented them with plaques and saluted them blah blah. All a dat was nice, but you can't have Trini without commess. I don't know what Rose story was, but it didn't look like she cared to share the stage with Sparrow and when she get she plaque, she ramble on and on about Australia and New Zealand and flying the flag dere and how Machel is she son and he go fly the flag blah blah. Every time we think she done (and poor Sparrow think she done too because he keep raising his mike to thank Machel) she have something more to say. Or repeat. She just said the same thing about 6 or 8 times.
Finally, she shut up. Sparrow bus out some Midnight Robber lines for the boy and the crowd went wild. Even Machel look stunned. Then, he turn around and shuffle off. But Rose look like she vex she get upstaged and open she mouth again. I pull out meh phone. She say Machel go bring home a Grammy and she left. Fina-fucking-ly.
Machel also brought Benjai and Patrice. I didn't know who she was, either, but I wine anyway. Speaking of wine, Machel's winer girls (sorry, HD dancers) was just boss. And Miss Brittney. I hope he paying that girl well because she might not have children later on in life. She have one sweet ass, though. Every time the winer girls (sorry, HD dancers) come on stage, I was mesmerized!
So, the fete start to wrap up and Machel start he spiel about the government and the $2m and I didn't really want to hear any Kamla ass-kissing. He say how people asking him how he going to spend the money and he say he give $100K to a children's charity. I pick up my coat and start walking out. That is not how I want to see Machel stroking he self.
Then he call Kernal Roberts out from behind the drums. He is Lord Kitchener's son and is the musical director for Machel's band (in whatever incarnation it is). Machel announced when he get he money from the government, he is giving one million dollars to Kernel ("Kernel, boy, you is not a thousand-aire, you is a millionaire). I didn't see Kernal's face when Machel made the actual announcement, but I turned around right after and saw the shy boy watching the ground. I really didn't know what to make of that. A search on the Guardian's website got me some more info about the man and it look like he was a force to be reckoned with from long time.
But, I was already at the door, having made the long trek from the first circle, through the sold out Theater. I was hot, sweaty, hungry and wired. This concert wasn't as good as the last one, which was the best show I've ever seen, anywhere, by anybody, but it was still a slice of home. I had a real good time. Ask my broken body. It'll tell ya!
Also a warning: I is a Trini writing like a Trini, so read at your own risk of understanding.
Ok, Back to Bom.
On Wednesday, March 24, I saw a link on a friend's FB page to the NY Times about Machel Montano playing at the Garden on Friday, March 26. I didn't even stop to think. I immediately set the ticket-buying process in motion and called the husband to make sure we didn't have plans for Friday night or he didn't have plans of his own. I tell you, if he did, I was going to pull every feminine wile I had and beg, borrow and steal the rest to convince him to change HIS plans. His dream of a threesome was thisclose to coming true!
But, he didn't, I pressed buy! Gots me a front circle seat. A couple of years ago, I saw Machel at the same place and bought a cheap seat in the back. This time, I wanted him to sweat on mih!
I got to the Garden just minutes before 8, the scheduled start time, so I was glad not to have to wait for the to start. Mistake.
First up was Treveni, or some such band, I really couldn't tell you, and two Indian boys from the Bamboo calling the people place Madison Square GardenSZ. Fellas, if all you too stupid to pronounce the name of the biggest venue you will ever play, go back home and play at the Nagar. Dem boys was too happy to tell we that it was the first time Chutney ever make it to the Garden, and I coulda dead from shame. First of all, Machel did bring Drupati Ramgoonai when he was here the last time and, yes, she sing "Roll up de Tassa", the chutniest of all chutney soca next to "Lotay La", and wine up she waist all how. Dese two mooks couldn't wine for nothing. It really ent have no second of all.
Then they was finally done and I began to breathe once more. You getting the feeling I against chutney? Well, yes. I against chutney. Chutney soca, maybe, since its aim is actually a fusion of the two styles. But singing lawa music and calling it chutney isn't my cup of tea. It is divisive and promotes a hypocrisy I cannot stand. These same coolie people does let they daughter go to chutney shows and wine they ass down to the ground and love it, but wouldn't let the same girl children go to a tent or play mas because they might rub up on a black man. Kiss my ass, yes.
Ok. Back to Bom.
I got happy too soon, because the 2 boys announce Rikki Jai: "I say Rikki, you say Jai!". I sit down. Wait, I was already sitting down. No matter. I pull out my phone. Thank God I charged it before I left home. Rikki went on about how he didn't mind coming 2nd last year because he save the good stuff for the $2m pot this year. I hear so much about that $2m that I was ready to vomit. More about that to come.
Then Rikki Jai reminded us that we been fans for 20 years. And he bus out "Hold de Lata Mangeskar, gimme soca", and I realize I knew all the words and remember Rikki Jai in he two-tone shirts and shiny pants. He still favoring the shiny-ness, as per his suit, but all a we old now.
He sing something else and I can't tell what it is because I never hear it before and I was deep in "It" on my Android Kindle.
Then some announcer come on and try to tell some rather racist jokes and I steups up and started to play Solitaire. Like they feel we needed an intermission after half an hour of Chutney. I ready to cuss.
It was 9 o'clock before Mr. Man decide to grace the stage. Keep in mind MSG does kick he out at 11, so why he wasting my time with a shit DJ, I just didn't know.
Well, I have very few complaints after that. I jump. I wine left. I wine right. I wine down and I wine back up. It was just bes'. I seriously coulda get charge! (Btw, that is a kick-ass song! I like it more than "Advantageous" and not just cuz I in law school and de song name "Illegal"!)
Oh, and there was a tiger. Yes, a tiger. I am not sure what the hell that was about. Machel come on stage, get in a cage, and presto, zappo, there was a tiger in the cage. They wheel the cage off and Machel rise up from below the stage. Huh. I did try not to study it, but it really was just weird.
He could still wine and I had forgotten how charming his smile was. He wore what look a pair of pants made from vinyl. He even say, "Mih pants cyah take too much, eh!" He looked a little paunchy, but he was as dutty as ever.
After he kill we with the 2011 songs, he start to go back in times. He sang a couple songs by people who have died, Wayne Rodriguez and $hel $hok, and he bus out nearly all the Xtatic big tunes. Farmer was there, and Peter Lewis. And since I know Machel since he small and was "Too Young to Soca", that was my favorite part of the night.
Nah, I lie. He start the cannibal roar from "Congo Man" and I nearly die dead. Then Sparrow come out and I scream so hard, I had to take a drink of water. Sparrow looked so frail, his pigeon-toe chip look like a old man shuffle now. He was old when I was small, but his voice was still so powerful. "Congo Man" is my all-time favorite Sparrow calypso and I still remember when I was old enough to understand what the lyrics meant. Shock and awe! Especially when he drop the "You lie!" on you. Genius!
Then you can't have a King without a Queen, so Rose come out. I've never been a Rose fan. Not because I didn't like she, but she wasn't really on my radar. I knew "Fire in you Wire" and "Tempo" (which I love because my mother from San Fernando!). She was out of my picture when I was growing up.
She sing the two songs (really, the only ones I know!) and Machel call back out Sparrow and presented them with plaques and saluted them blah blah. All a dat was nice, but you can't have Trini without commess. I don't know what Rose story was, but it didn't look like she cared to share the stage with Sparrow and when she get she plaque, she ramble on and on about Australia and New Zealand and flying the flag dere and how Machel is she son and he go fly the flag blah blah. Every time we think she done (and poor Sparrow think she done too because he keep raising his mike to thank Machel) she have something more to say. Or repeat. She just said the same thing about 6 or 8 times.
Finally, she shut up. Sparrow bus out some Midnight Robber lines for the boy and the crowd went wild. Even Machel look stunned. Then, he turn around and shuffle off. But Rose look like she vex she get upstaged and open she mouth again. I pull out meh phone. She say Machel go bring home a Grammy and she left. Fina-fucking-ly.
Machel also brought Benjai and Patrice. I didn't know who she was, either, but I wine anyway. Speaking of wine, Machel's winer girls (sorry, HD dancers) was just boss. And Miss Brittney. I hope he paying that girl well because she might not have children later on in life. She have one sweet ass, though. Every time the winer girls (sorry, HD dancers) come on stage, I was mesmerized!
So, the fete start to wrap up and Machel start he spiel about the government and the $2m and I didn't really want to hear any Kamla ass-kissing. He say how people asking him how he going to spend the money and he say he give $100K to a children's charity. I pick up my coat and start walking out. That is not how I want to see Machel stroking he self.
Then he call Kernal Roberts out from behind the drums. He is Lord Kitchener's son and is the musical director for Machel's band (in whatever incarnation it is). Machel announced when he get he money from the government, he is giving one million dollars to Kernel ("Kernel, boy, you is not a thousand-aire, you is a millionaire). I didn't see Kernal's face when Machel made the actual announcement, but I turned around right after and saw the shy boy watching the ground. I really didn't know what to make of that. A search on the Guardian's website got me some more info about the man and it look like he was a force to be reckoned with from long time.
But, I was already at the door, having made the long trek from the first circle, through the sold out Theater. I was hot, sweaty, hungry and wired. This concert wasn't as good as the last one, which was the best show I've ever seen, anywhere, by anybody, but it was still a slice of home. I had a real good time. Ask my broken body. It'll tell ya!
Friday, March 18, 2011
third-wheely
It's hard making friends. There's no Mummy to hold your hand just before you enter the school doors telling you how awesome you are and how everyone in the room is going to see it too and before you know it, you'll make friends and you won't even remember that you were so worried no one would like you. Just talk to someone, she'd say, and it's easy peezy lemon squeezy after that.
It took a long time to get the friends I gots. I had the best group of friends in high school and it really hurts that we're not in touch other than the odd, weird FB post now and then. In fact, if they check their feeds, I'm pretty sure they know far more about my life than I know about theirs.
I had the best group of friends at University. I keep in touch with only 2 of them now. One just evolved past me into an outlook of life I didn't really care for. One just seems to have disappeared. One got married and seemed to have stopped talking to all his female friends. It was hard to get him to pick up a phone even before that. It was a small group, but we loved each other and really accepted one another for who we really were and didn't demand any kind of unattainable characteristic.
I think I was too caught up in my job at the Guardian to make those kinds of friends. I got a couple of amazing friends out of that time in the media, but I was almost out the door and was pretty much a loner by then. I could barely face myself, let alone the insides of others.
Teaching... well... the less said about that they better. But I did meet some fine women there and one of them is still in my heart. And Table 5 will always have a place there, even though we have fallen out of touch. They were like a grown-up version of my high school friends and I miss them all.
Moving to NY almost broke me. I could cut the loneliness with a dull knife. I left behind 2 of the best people I've ever known and it was crushing. Slowly, it got better, but I've never really opened up to any one here, even now.
Law school is a real trip. I see people around me already forging those law school friendships for life and I feel so distant. One reason I enjoyed being back with A and B was that I could really be myself and just let go. I could talk about what was troubling me, make fun of things and just talk a lot of nonsense that I know they would understand.
I'm too old for this place. They are too young for me. I am left out because I just don't care about the things they care about. I've done it already. It's as simple as that. I did all this already. I have no time for drinking, partying, watching people with suspicion or judging a person by the clothes he wears. And I have a ready-made fuck at home.
I have met people I like but the gulf is so wide, sometimes I wonder if I'll fall in. This really wasn't what I thought would be the thing that affected me the most about law school. I'm also not sure how to let it go. I can't ignore it, because I feel it, but I know there's nothing to be done about it, so do I just wait it out? It's bound to go away?
Stay tuned.
It took a long time to get the friends I gots. I had the best group of friends in high school and it really hurts that we're not in touch other than the odd, weird FB post now and then. In fact, if they check their feeds, I'm pretty sure they know far more about my life than I know about theirs.
I had the best group of friends at University. I keep in touch with only 2 of them now. One just evolved past me into an outlook of life I didn't really care for. One just seems to have disappeared. One got married and seemed to have stopped talking to all his female friends. It was hard to get him to pick up a phone even before that. It was a small group, but we loved each other and really accepted one another for who we really were and didn't demand any kind of unattainable characteristic.
I think I was too caught up in my job at the Guardian to make those kinds of friends. I got a couple of amazing friends out of that time in the media, but I was almost out the door and was pretty much a loner by then. I could barely face myself, let alone the insides of others.
Teaching... well... the less said about that they better. But I did meet some fine women there and one of them is still in my heart. And Table 5 will always have a place there, even though we have fallen out of touch. They were like a grown-up version of my high school friends and I miss them all.
Moving to NY almost broke me. I could cut the loneliness with a dull knife. I left behind 2 of the best people I've ever known and it was crushing. Slowly, it got better, but I've never really opened up to any one here, even now.
Law school is a real trip. I see people around me already forging those law school friendships for life and I feel so distant. One reason I enjoyed being back with A and B was that I could really be myself and just let go. I could talk about what was troubling me, make fun of things and just talk a lot of nonsense that I know they would understand.
I'm too old for this place. They are too young for me. I am left out because I just don't care about the things they care about. I've done it already. It's as simple as that. I did all this already. I have no time for drinking, partying, watching people with suspicion or judging a person by the clothes he wears. And I have a ready-made fuck at home.
I have met people I like but the gulf is so wide, sometimes I wonder if I'll fall in. This really wasn't what I thought would be the thing that affected me the most about law school. I'm also not sure how to let it go. I can't ignore it, because I feel it, but I know there's nothing to be done about it, so do I just wait it out? It's bound to go away?
Stay tuned.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)