Thursday, July 15, 2010

a womb of my own

I decided to name my new laptop Louisa and my new mouse Jane, after Jane and Louisa Will Soon Come Home, a book I read at university and just loved. It was about a woman putting her life back together, bit by bit and the structure reflects her fractured soul. It also introduced me to the concept of the kumbla and how I can make one of my own.

I am my own kumbla. I thought I wanted a different one, but over the years, I realized I was never going to be able to separate myself from myself without a great deal of pain and my only refuge was my kumbla. I live separate lives inside of myself and now I will be beginning a whole new part to one of those lives, or both. But my kumbla remains. It comforts me when I am sad, picks me up when I am low and loves me in spite of myself.

Jane and Louisa are new parts to remind me of the old.