Tuesday, August 10, 2010

the son luck club

I was reading the latest post over on Dooce.com and thanking the good God I have 2 sons. Yes, Chris is a teenager and we have our issues that go way back, but I love him and respect the hell out of him for being the kind of man I know I wanted him to be.

Unless I bite the big one, I am going to have to deal with Le Pie's teenage years. So far, he's still my little boy. Too much so, sometimes. Last night, I was watching Eddie Izzard on Netflix and he came and sat on the stool in front of me and just stared at me. For no reason, he said. He just wanted to be near me. I had to tell him that he has to give me some space when he sees me doing something that doesn't involve him.

Even as I was saying the words, my heart was breaking. He's been like a limpet attached to me for weeks, months now. He told me yesterday that he won't see me again for 3 years when I start school. I laughed and told him he'd see me every day. But I know what he meant. It won't be me and my little guy any more.

I've tried to make our time together this summer fun and memorable, for both of us, but it's been a double-edged sword. I've always liked liming with Pie, the same way I loved liming with Chris when he was small. I love the conversations we have, how they talk to me about stuff that I have no clue about but they think I do and just like talking to me about it. Chris was a riot at 7 and so is Pie.

Pie is so much fun to be around when we go out. He makes the most mundane task way more interesting just by being present. He's learning to give me my space when I am studying and pretty much leaves me alone. He goes downstairs and parks his butt at his Daddy's computer, turns on the tv and forgets all about moi. The main distractions at home are the tv and fridge! And when John is working from home, b/c Pie cannot be downstairs and gets bored.

The first year of law school is going to be the hardest, and most time-consuming. I need to do well and I need to be away from home to achieve that. Leaving John to single-parent it out when I have papers, midterms and finals is going to be tough. Not seeing Derek will be tougher. I need my piece of Pie to get through my life.

School starts in exactly one week. I need to get ahead of my reading at least by a week, which means that this week is devoted to Civ Pro and Contracts and not much else. I really want to kick the cooking and laundry to the curb. I'm happy to eat Crix and cheese (or the US equivalent, whatever that may be) and buckle down. But I simply cannot ignore John and Derek.

Plus, Kayrein comes to visit this weekend and I need a dose of home before next Tuesday. Which means that I have to finish the work I set myself by Thursday. And today is Tuesday. And the Pie has had no breakfast yet. Sigh.

And he just came to ask me if we can go to Coney Island this weekend. Double sigh.