hypopnea and school

The sleep doctor called me on Tuesday night and told me the results of my sleep study were more serious than he realized when he scanned the results on Monday morning. I am losing a lot of oxygen while sleeping and struggling in my sleep, both to breathe and stay asleep.

I honestly thought I was as tired as I am because of the depression and the new circumstances my body and mind are dealing with. Not so much, apparently. I'm literally not sleeping.

I am going back in tonight for a similar test but with a mask.

I also went to an allergist yesterday. And I am allergic to everything. Even the doctor was surprised when he saw the test results. I had no idea. Pets, tree pollen and all forms of mold were the worst of the lost, but I'm allergic to foods I had no idea I was allergic to: apples, string beans, green peas and spinach. That spinach pisses me off no end. I love spinach and eat it 3 times a week. It gives me that iron and energy I need because I am so tired! Irony much?

I'm going back to the allergist tomorrow for a CAT scan of my face. Sigh.

But I do have the best professors in the world. K prof and LW prof gave me 2 days' extension on my papers due next Monday and Tuesday. They were so great and I am so relieved. Still, I am losing a lot of time today and tomorrow and catching up is going to be tough. Pray for Mojo.

to apnea or hypopnea

So I finally visited an ENT for my sinus, snoring and other horrid breathing issues. He promised me he could fix it. I see my Tort action forming.

But seriously. He sent me to an allergist and for a sleep study to determine if I have sleep apnea. He told me I am very congested. I could have told me that.

The sleep study came first and I went to the facility on Sunday night. The tech was from Guyana and is planning to start law school in 2012. We had lots in common.

Good thing, too, because it took nearly an hour to hook me up to the machine. I had electrodes coming out my wazoo: across my forehead and chin, about 8 in my hair, on my neck, legs and two sets of wires up my nosey. To say I was uncomfortable is the biggest understatement I can think of.

All of the electrode wires were hooked into this brick that had to sit on the bed next to me. So I had to sleep, on my back, with about 50 tiny wires coming out of my head, all attached to me with some kind of white gook and surgical tape. I still have gook in my hair even though I washed it twice when I got home. Uk.

I felt like I woke up every 5 minutes and only fell asleep around 5:30 or so because I asked the tech if I could lie on my side now. Even the doctor said my sleep results from that time showed me so restful that they felt really bad to wake me up.

I was so tired when I went to sleep and I was even more tired when I woke up. I had a feeling it would be rough, so I got excused from my 2 classes on Monday. I was also a little worried that I might hear I have sleep apnea.

The doctor met with me that morning and said while it was unlikely I had sleep apnea, it appears that I have hypopnea. And if it gets worse, it is treated as seriously as sleep apnea.

I do have an apnea that comes in my disturbed REM sleep state. The doctor said that isn't too bad because the apnea is not the cause of the disturbance but a consequence of it. He said the serotonin reuptake inhibitor I take causes that REM issue. I'm going to have to live with that because I cannot come off the Lexapro.

But he doesn't think any kind of device is necessary and that b/w the allergist and the ENT, they should be able to ease my breathing, snoring and the pressure on my face. I see the allergist tomorrow and will find out more about the hypopnea later this week.

Stay tuned. Same bat time. Same bat station.

hwangs

So the Hwangs continue the tradition of not giving presents on the date the present-giving should take place. As soon as I got home last night, Le Pie barreled into me and told me not to go take a shower (which I really wanted to do b/c I had a huge headache and wanted to wash my hair) because I need to open my presents.

Just before I walked into the flat, I checked the mailbox and one of John's presents was in there. I put it in my bag and closed it, expecting to hide it with his other present, which I managed to get without him seeing the delivery guy.

Then Der comes out of his room with 2 beautifully wrapped presents, which was a shock in itself, because John NEVER wraps my present. I usually get it in the box it was delivered in! And then I found out Derek wrapped his present to me all by himself. Aw.

So, I opened my bag and gave Derek the present for his Daddy (still in the box it was delivered in! Hah!). Derek was responsible for John no longer having a penknife, so I got a cute little Leatherman one to replace it. Then I pulled out his present from me. It took him a few minutes to get around to mine because he was all over the Leatherman. I got him a Ralph Lauren shirt and he looked gorgeous in it.

As for me, John bought me the Kindle I wanted. It's gorgeous and light and tiny and I love it! Derek gave me the case with built-in light that I wanted! I had to force myself to put it down. Der, always a step ahead of his old Ma, was great about helping me set it up. Before he went to bed, I asked him a question and he helped me again. Then he said, "Before I go, is there anything else I can help you with?" LOL!

I left the Kindle home today b/c I have my Legal Research final today and I would just be distracted by playing with it. And I have a complaint due for Civil Procedure due on Tuesday and I told my group I would send them a first draft to work on as I won't be in school on Monday. I do not need another thing to distract me while I cram for the exam at noon and work on the complaint afterwards.

But I really cannot wait to go home!

the social network

I just saw the movie and being the FB addict that I am, I rushed into Barnes and Noble to blog about it.

I can see why all my law school chums are raving about it. It should be on the curriculum in a depositions class. Do we have a depositions class? Well, we should.

Jesse Eisenberg played Mark Zuckerberg and I only know him as Hallie Eisenberg's brother and the resemblance was uncanny. Contrary to what Rashida Jones' character tells Zuckerberg, he is an asshole. And Eduardo Saverin was probably blind not to have seen it before. Poor guy. He really got the short end of the stick. The Winklevii also got a bit of a short-shrift and it was unfair for Zuckerberg to claim they were only climbing all over him b/c something didn't happen for them the way they wanted it to. These weren't just Daddy's fair-haireds coasting through Harvard on Daddy's name.

Aside: Hell, Daddy's name cut them no grease with the stupid Dean. Sorry Dean, but you were stupid and I am now reconsidering my life's dream to have Derek go to Harvard. Princeton, here we come.

Back to Bom.

These boys were top students and worked fucking hard to be the racers they are. They got stuff handed to them, I am sure, but no one studied for them or raced for them. I thought the movie got that across very well. The actors playing the Winklevii were great and managed to create personalities that rose above their looks. And it wasn't twins or even brothers playing Cameron and Tyler Winkelvoss but Arnie Hammer and Josh Pence plus a little digital magic.

Andrew Garfield played Saverin and all through the film I knew I'd seen him before. It was in the Red Riding Trilogy. He is a fine young actor and had more to do, acting-wise, in the trilogy, but wasn't shabby here at all. He manged to convey his feeling of betrayal without making you feel like he should suck it up. He really showed Saverin as the only supporter and friend Zuckerberg had and it killed me to watch him duel with Sean Parker.

Ah, Sean. What a dick. Well-played by Justin Timberlake, who did such a good job that my brain didn't do the "it's Justin Timberlake!" jump every time he showed up on screen. It was a very unsympathetic portrayal of a man once hailed as a hero for providing free music online. Timberlake must have had a ball playing someone so arrogant and cocky.

One thing I realized, whether it's true or not, FB was a more collaborative effort than Zuckerberg would have himself believe. Parker seemed to have had the idea for pix sharing and tagging. The Winklevii had the big idea. Even Saverin's crazy ex had the idea of putting Zuckerberg and Parker together.

Other people in the film: Rashida Jones had me wondering what she was doing there until the very nice scene at the end of the movie. She does that kind of get-your-head-out-of-your-ass and-come-back-to-reality scene well. Joseph Mazzello was unrecognizable as Dustin Moskivitz, Zuckerberg's programmer. Who is he? The kid from "Jurassic Park" who gets electrocuted on the fence. He grew up.

I was very curious to see Rooney Mara who played Erica Albright, who may have never friended Mark Zuckerberg, deservedly. She is cast in Fincher's version of "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" as Lisbeth Salander, because he was impressed with her. I've seen the Swedish version, and she has to come very very good to even compare to Noomi Rapace, who transformed herself physically and emotionally for the role. She didn't have much to do in "The Social Network", so I guess Fincher saw something that I didn't that screamed "LISBETH SALANDER" to him. The character actually had more presence when she wasn't in a scene with Eisenberg. It's Zuckerberg's reaction to Erica's name and what she might be thinking about him and his poor judgment is what fuels his actions. He makes her out to be more than she is.

About the lawsuits. all through the film, I was wondering what the susbtantive issue was in the claim the Winkelvoss brothers brought against Zuckerberg. It is easy to prove he didn't use their code for setting up FB and there is no copyright or patent on an idea. All the brothers seem concerned with is that their idea was stolen. But ideas are unprotected and I didn't have to be in law school to tell you that. And Zuckerberg didn't appear to sign any kind of contract with the brothers and Divya Narendra, but that didn't mean they didn't have an agreement. The movie didn't address this well and I thank New York Law School and my K prof for being able to fill in the blanks myself. The brothers and Narendra claimed Zuckerberg broke a relationship with them because they had an affirmative agreement from him to work on their HarvardConnection website.

Saverin's claim were a bit more concrete and basic: fraud. He got cheated out of his share through the machinations, it appeared, of Sean Parker and his influence over Zuckerberg.

All in all, a good movie. The editing was crisp and clear and the flashbacks worked very well. Timberlake stood out, but the story was very good and well-told. I haven't read Ben Mezrich's book "The Accidental Billionaries", on which Aaron Sorkin based his script, but the movie stood on its own without me having to know too much about anything, really. I'd even like to see it again.

time to reassess

So we've been hearing about people dropping out of law school. Last week, our K prof said 2 people dropped out from our section. One was this really smart girl who felt law school wasn't her calling and chose not to stay in debt for a whole year to confirm what she already knew. The other did not speak English very well. I heard him once in class, early on in the semester. I couldn't tell if he was unprepared or couldn't articulate his answers in English. Or a combination of the two. Poor guy.

But it seems as though we were the last section to hear about people leaving or even have people leave. A month ago, a friend from another section said her K prof told them 4 people had left. Tough beans.

I've spoken to a couple of people who either entertained leaving at the end of the first week or plan to reassess at the end of the first year. It broke my heart. I admit to not knowing them well enough to see whether they belong in law school, but it looked like they were handling the work ok and it was hard to hear they were thinking about leaving. I can only imagine how hard it was to actually think it.

I do wonder if some people belong in law school. It is a perfect venue to show off. And the cattiness has begun. The things I hear surprise me. There are people who actually say out loud that they are pleased that some difficulty has befallen a classmate, because his attention will be focused elsewhere and that is less competition for them.

I am guarded. I take special care of my things and don't discuss papers if I can help it. I did it once and I still regret it. Not that the other people did anything, I just felt that I should have kept my mouth shut about my own thoughts.

But if it doesn't involve a paper, I am always happy to help. But I am seeing less and less of that as the term progresses. Either everyone is getting it or no one is going to admit they did not. Fine by me. I ask the prof or TAs when I don't get it. They are getting paid for that and I have $40K worth of questions in my bank.

I've been wondering how I would manage if I wasn't on the meds. I don't think I'd be able to keep my temper in check, and that would not be good. I might actually say some of the stuff I've been thinking. Plus, more importantly in my book, I would be very overwhelmed by the workload. It's not easy keeping up with classes, trying to revise what's already been done, dealing with home, the bitching, the moaning and trying to have a life with the friends I care about. I haven't even written home in a while.

On the bright side, I had to talk in Torts the other day and I thought I did well. Someone told me I sounded prepared and like I knew what I was talking about. Did I ever? I prepared the hell out of the reading and was I ever glad I did. I enjoyed it hugely.

This week has been tough. There are so many things going on other than class that I had no time during the week to prepare or study for anything. I wasn't exactly thrilled about staying home yesterday, but I was able to finish my memo and then relax for the rest of the day. But with the one thing after another this whole week, I had to do a lot of work last weekend.

I am keeping next week as free as I can because the Legal Research exam is next Friday and I need to devote some time to it. That also means covering the reading for the entire week over this weekend.

I have the all-important visit to the ENT next Wednesday and I have never looked forward to a doctor's visit more. The warmer weather has eased the sinus pressure a fair bit and I have been more comfortable this week than I have been in a while. Other than that, it's just K prof's celebration thingy and that is the only extra-curricula activity I have going on.

Pray for Mojo.

js meme... how i've missed you

If I were a month I would be: June

If I were a day of the week I would be: Tuesday

If I were a time of day I would be: morning

If I were a planet I would be: mars

If I were a sea animal I would be: a blue whale

If I were a direction I would be: West

If I were a piece of furniture I would be: a bed

If I were a sin I would be: lust

If I were a liquid I would be: rum

If I were a stone, I would be: a bloodstone

If I were a tree, I would be: a mango tree

If I were a bird, I would be: a hummingbird

If I were a flower/plant, I would be: an iris

If I were a kind of weather, I would be: drizzly

If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a Spanish guitar

If I were an animal, I would be: a meerkat

If I were a color, I would be: green

If I were an emotion, I would be: overwhemlmed

If I were a vegetable, I would be: a potato

If I were a sound, I would be: a scream

If I were an element, I would be: fire

If I were a car, I would be: a mini

If I were a song, I would be: calypso

If I were a movie, I would be directed by: gurinda chadha

If I were a poem, I would be written by: t.s. eliot

If I were a food, I would be: cookie

If I were a place, I would be: a temple

If I were a material, I would be: cotton

If I were a taste, I would be: tasty

If I were a scent, I would be: lavender

If I were a religion, I would be: Pagan

If I were a word, I would be: crazy

If I were an object, I would be: a hammer

If I were a body part I would be: knees

If I were a facial expression I would be: an eyeroll

If I were a subject in school I would be: physical education

If I were a shape I would be: a hexagon

If I were a number I would be: seven

thick and thin, sick and sin

So the Hwang family has been married for almost 5 years and Mr and Mrs Hwang never thought we'd make it this far. Baby Hwang has already decided that he will go live with his Aunties when we divorce. We're staying together for Jess and Bri's sake!

Joke and fun aside, five years is a long time to be together and it's the longest relationship either of us has ever had. So, I say, kudos to Ma and Pa Hwang.

I laid down the law last year that I am not going to tell John what I want as an anniversary present. I wanted him to look into my soul and get me something that, preferably, comes in a small(ish) robin-egg's blue box and I better be surprised.

Well, I caved about 2 weeks ago and blurted out I wanted a Kindle. Sigh. I did try. I dropped hints but I chose to believe Mr Hwang was going through one of his denser phases and just said it. Turns out, he was going to buy me a diamond. To which Derek said, "Get her the diamond, Daddy, and then we can get aaaanything we want!"

To explain: Whenever John comes up with one of his outrageously expensive desires, which are mostly just outrageous in my book, I say he can get it if I buy a diamond. One day he said he is going to buy me a diamond and then buy himself whatever he wants and I will just have to lump it. I might have mentioned before that Derek is turning into his Daddy.

Anyhoo, the Hwangs have decided that the fifth wedding anniversary is electronica (which is good because the traditional gift is wood!) and Der already has a netbook and I am expecting a Kindle, since I clearly drowned the diamond idea! AND I caved and have decided to let John get a PS3 or X-box or whatever-the-fuck. But he will get that later on, maybe closer to Christmas.