the lsat chonicles - before test day

I don't have much to say except that I hope I do well tomorrow. I am officially tired of the LSATs and I feel like I am jinxing myself not to improve a 153 by feeling that way. I spent this week going over the June test. I hate inference and flaw questions. I feel like I betraying myself by even typing that.

I kept a lot of the techniques Tutor taught me. I did like having the ability to choose what works for me. New Tutor added a lot but it gave me a sense of empowerment to be able to weed out what I didn't like from her stuff and slip in what I knew works for me.

John is taking me to Ollie's for dinner after the test. Then, the wait begins.

for Aliti

1. What color is your toothbrush? Blue and white

2. Name one person who made you smile today? John

3. What were you doing at 8:00am this morning? Heading to breakfast with the family

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Same thing as right now: Watching the Pie play in the pool

5. What is your favorite candy bar? Kit Kat

6. Have you ever bitten your toenails? Yes, when I was small

7. What is the last thing you said aloud? "Oh my God" when I saw a girl hitting her smaller brother

8. What is your favorite ice cream? Nestle Crunch Dibs

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Coffee

10. Do you like your wallet? Very much

11. What was the last thing you ate? Breakfast: a mushroom, bacon and cheese omelet, potatoes and toast.

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Yes, a t-shirt for the Pie.

13. What was the last sporting event you watched? Baseball

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Butter

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? A friend

16. Ever go camping? Narp

17. Do you take vitamins daily? Narp

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? Narp

19. Do you have a tan? Narp

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? Narp

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? Not always

22. What did your last text message say? "We're going to be late bc of rain"

23. What you doing tomorrow? A lot of sleeping

24. What was the last movie you saw at the theater? "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

25. Look to your left, what do you see? The wall

26. What color is your watch? Silver

27. What do you think of when you hear Australia? An aboriginal woman I interviewed for one of the first stories I ever wrote for the "Guardian"

28. What's the first thing you think when you wake up in the morning? "What time is it?"

29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive-through? Go in

30. What is your favorite number? 81

31. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone? The husband

32. Any plans today? Watch the Pie play

33. How many states have you lived in? 1

34. Biggest annoyance right now? Other people

35. Last song listened to? "This Used to be My Playground" by Madonna

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? Sure

37. Do you have a maid service clean your house? I wish

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? My slippers

39. Are you jealous of anyone? Yarp

40. Is anyone jealous of you? I hope so

41. Do you love anyone? Yarp

42. Do any of your friends have children? Yarp

43. What do you usually do during the day? Study, sleep, read. It's a tough existence

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? Yes, absolutely

45. Do you use the word 'hello' daily? Yarp

46. What color is your car? If I had one, I hope it would be green

47. Do you like cats? Yarp

48. Are you thinking about someone right now? Yarp

49. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Narp

50. How did you get your worst scar? C-section to get the Pie out the oven

i want to be 7 again... but only if i can be my mom

Pie had the best surprise birthday party ever. I want to post the pix I took but my Mac is playing up in its tail and I have to take it in to a Genius Bar to make sure it's only the plug and not something else. Sigh.

It was a small party. We were hoping for a big do in Central Park, but our friends' prior commitments combined with thunderstorms led to a few close friends in our home. Pie spent the night by his grandmother and everyone, except one kid and his mom, got to the house before he did. It was pretty great because all the kids, except the one who came later, have all been over and know the place well. They all found themselves in Pie's room, having a grand ol' time with his toys. We didn't tell Pie that till yesterday!

Pie told John later that when he saw all the people in the living room, just before he walked inside, he wanted to ask what they were all doing in his house. LOL! When they all shouted, "SURPRISE!", he stopped. It was like he froze for a couple of seconds, the threw his hands up and shouted, "YAY!"

It was terrific.

He made a beeline for his friends and they (6 boys and 1 girl) all went to his room. The 1 girl was almost 3 and threw herself in with them quite happily, in between shouts of, "Mummy, I want cupcake!" I told everyone that I was just waiting for the last boy to arrive and then we'd do the cakes and presents.

Pie picked out his own cupcakes from Buttercup Bake Shop. It seemed so much nicer than a cake, especially since there would be 5 vegans and having a extra cake would seem odd. I didn't want anyone to feel left out or weird, so I got vegan cupcakes from Whole Foods. I had some of the icing and it was so good, almost better than the non-vegan ones.

When we called everyone for cake, I don't think you could have held them back with a team of horses. Pie was just so elated. He looked so happy when everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to him. He asked (and got) a #7 candle and 7 individual candles and he blew each one out separately. AND made a wish for each one. That took some time.

Then he opened presents and loved every thing he got. He got a cool Nerf football and some books and even some cash. He got some Moon Sand, but the little girl finished that for him. She had a blast and all the boys told on her because she made a huge mess. John had to bring out the Shop Vac. Her mom and I sat back and let her go. She was happy to be in the thick of things with the boys. They played with Pie's Moon Sand that he got for Christmas and she played with the one he got that day. Unfortunately, that is now inside the Shop Vac and I promised her mom that I am getting her Moon Sand for her next present!

John's mom cleaned up most of the mess downstairs and even wiped the kids' feet because they were all knee-deep in Moon Sand. Have I mentioned I hate Moon Sand? Well, John was in charge of cleanup, so I didn't have to hate it quite so much that day.

Everyone had a blast. The kids played downstairs and parents took turns (except me) to go check on them while my MIL stayed down there, for the most part. But, really, they took care of themselves. They were all really good kids and we locked the dog and the cat in our bedroom, because one of our friends was allergic, so there was no pet to get underfoot. They had free reign of downstairs and enjoyed themselves hugely.

The grown-ups yakked upstairs and there was much mirth to be had. I was so happy to see everyone have a good time. I laughed so hard, my voice almost disappeared. After everyone left, I abandoned the husband and child and went to bed. I woke up in the morning to a clean house and a bad cold. It was worth it to see Pie's face. I don't think he could have had more fun if he tried.

the summer of almost seven years old

I've been looking at the Pie a lot lately and am just stunned by (1) how utterly good-looking he is and (2) he is turning 7 at the end of next month.

I've allowed him to grow his hair for the summer, with the agreement that he would cut it before his birthday, which is a week before he goes to school. He doesn't like having messy hair when he is going to school but I've always wanted to see what he would look like if we let the sweet curls keep growing. He's got these little curly bits around his ears and his handsome face is framed by this thick, black, wavy hair. It emphasizes his deep, dark eyes and I cannot get over how I will have to beat the pretty girls and boys off with big sticks in a few years.

He is so tall and thin. He's so strong and so very unaware of his own strength. He's not skinny-thin (okay, maybe a little) but muscular and wiry. His basic yoga and gym training has him contorting himself into all kinds of positions and mostly giving me a heart attack.

I find it so hard to believe he is getting so big. He was in my arms, a cute, little, fatty baby. He was set on one hip as I did my thing in the kitchen. He said things like "chooch it, mama chooch it" when he saw ants, making the onomatopaeic sound of the Baygon. And no matter how many times I said, and he repeated, "cu-cum-ba", he put it together as "cumbaba", a pronunciation I love to this day. A cucumber can never be anything else.

I remember watching him taking that first step into his second step, all by himself. Him walking towards me, all wobbly and triumphant as I clapped and clapped. I rocked him on my chest every single night so he would fall asleep. He still likes that, but he is so heavy now, I can barely breathe when he lies on top of me.

Now he says things like "Daddy, how do you spell absurd?" and "Well, you weren't specific," and "I used that strategy" that leaves us dumbfounded. We lie in bed at night, repeating what he has said to us over the years. When we moved in together, even after he wore us out all day, we would lie in bed talking about him. It's not so surprising to me anymore.

He still likes to stick up under me when he is sitting on the sofa. Unfortunately, a couple of days before my period, I cannot bear to be touched and this only happened after he was born. Sad, but I feel so suffocated when he comes and jams his thigh under mine. I cannot help it, so he gives me two inches of space and I have to be content. He cannot help it either.

recovering

On Tuesday, I hurt my back while bending over to open to one of Pie's drawers. I felt the pain like a hot iron across my hips, searing into my lower back muscles. I immediately straightened up and realized after that if I didn't do it then, I would not have been able to.

I screamed when it happened and again when I straightened up. Pie was in the bathroom getting ready for a shower and yelled to ask if I was all right. I had no idea what to say, because I really wasn't. I forced myself to lie on his bed and tried to breathe through the pain.

I told him to bring me my phone and sent him back. I heard him get into the shower and wondered if to call 911. I decided to call John and see if I could get him to come home. I rang both his work and cell phones and no answer. I just redialed his cell phone over and over, hoping that someone in his office would see it vibrating on his desk (if he was in a meeting) and call his attention to it. 

Pie came out of the shower and I told him that if I cannot reach Daddy in the next few minutes, I will have to go to the hospital because I hurt my back very badly and I cannot move. The look on his face almost made me want to get up and dance the fandango. He look terrified for a moment. He asked if I was going to be all right. I sent him to get dressed and let me try to reach Daddy one more time.

I really meant to dial 911 as he stepped out of the room but then we heard the front door. I thought I was hallucinating from the pain. Then, Pie said, "Daddy," and I could have fainted from relief.

John never comes home early without calling. It's like an unspoken rule. I have to have time to hide the evidence of the lover and the crack before he comes home. 

We tried to get a hot pack under me but it was too painful for me to move on my side. I took some Tylenol and he went to refill my codeine prescription. He moved my laptop into Pie's room so I could at least watch a movie. I couldn't read or move, but I managed to turn my head so I could see the screen. I now have a crick in the left side of my neck.

The worst of it was when I had to go to the bathroom. I held it for as long as I could but I had to go. The pain was as bad as when I had my C-section. The initial pain was worse than any labor pain I had with Chris. Maybe it was a good thing I went through that C-section because at least I knew how to move.

I had to ease my legs off the bed first. Thank goodness Pie's bed is not very high. Then I managed to get on my side and walk my hands up until I was sitting. John helped me to stand up and I put my hands on his shoulders and we walked very slowly to the bathroom.

It's a day in your life when your husband has to pull down your jeans and underpants when you have to go potty. I was so embarrassed. John was so sweet, trying to make me laugh. I had to sit ramrod-straight and of all of the days to go number 2. Sitting upright is not conducive to pooping, let me tell you. I read about the correct way to poop and it changed my life.

I managed the rest of it by myself (thank God!) but had to call John to help me back into my underpants and to get my jammy pants instead of my jeans. Then make the trek back to the bed.

Sleeping on Pie's bed was a bitch. Sleeping on my back was a bitch. All the meds I was taking was making me nauseaous. I desperately wanted to sleep on my own bed but there was no way I could make the stairs.

John stayed home Wednesday and Thursday and took excellent care of me and last night I was able to go downstairs to my own bed. I've had to take something to help me sleep so I would not roll around too much and hurt myself. I cannot sit down for too long and I already emailed my LSAT teacher to tell her it looks like I cannot make it this weekend. I think the train ride to the Village would derail me.

I do feel a bit better and can move around. I cannot bend over, though, so Pie is chief picker-upper for the next few days. I am going to try to cook today because the boys have been eating pasta for 3 days and I ate macaroni and cheese for 2 days in a row and cannot look at it anymore.

my NY travels

I got home from a rather long, unnecessarily circuituous route home from a trip to Times Square. I got the gift for Pie's pal and headed outside the store. So far, so good.

I wanted to see what the Boardwalk hoopla was all about, so I took a walk up the street. It was okay. I guess I'm not enough of a New Yawker to be as ticked off as John. There were fewer tourists on the sidewalk, but only for the bit where the street was blocked off. After that, it was back to every person for herself.

So I decided to walk down to 6th Ave to catch the M7 home. But since I have no actual sense of direction, I took a chance and turned left. Wound up walking towards 8th Avenue. Ah well. I didn't bother to turn around and decided to keep walking till I hit a bus stop or subway stairs.

I think it was 45th Street I was on and it was fabulous. The entire street was filled with back-to-back restaurants. It's one block off the street with all the theaters and it must be lovely to go see a show and then just walk down the street and have your pick of foodies. I was enthralled. I do not think I ever took so long to walk one block in my life.

I got to 9th Ave and found a bus stop that would take me right to my flat. Lover-ly. I bought a Vitamin water to beat the hit and jumped on the bus that pulled up right as I walked out of the deli where I bought my water. I was feeling good.

However.

Isn't it always a however?

I didn't realize the bus was going downtown. I live uptown. I heard the driver say "Last stop" and wondered if I was in Brooklyn! Ack! Where the frak was I?

How could I not know where I was? Well, yesterday I picked up Heather Armstrong's book "It Sucked and Then I Cried" from the library. I requested it ages ago and had to wait for over 200 people to get through their copies before I could get it. I started it last night and even though I read her blog every day, I could not put it down.

I took the bus to Toys R US so I could read and thought I had a nice long bus ride ahead of me to read more on the way home. Well, the long ride part was true but I was so engrossed in the book that I never raised my head to see I was going the wrong way.

(Aside: Bellie: if those plans are still the plans, run out and buy this book now! NOW! I was trying to find a 2nd hand copy to send to you but I think all the women who bought the book are keeping it in the waistband of their jeans to swack the fathers of their children!)

Anyhoo, so I get out on Hudson Street and had to laugh. It was originally my intention to go to the toy store and then head down to this new park called The Highline to see if I wanted to go there to watch the fireworks along the Hudson River. And here I was, just a few blocks away!

Well, to punish myself I didn't go see the park. I found the train station and went to take the C train home. 20 minutes in the blistering station (not complaining, I enjoyed every second of being outside in the heat. No fucking winter!) a crackling voice said something about no uptown A or C service. So I took an E to 34th street and walked out to look for that elusive 6th Ave again.

There was this lovely map thingy outside Madison Square Garden, with landmarks and everything so I didn't have to deal with north and south. I found this store that John and I had taken Drew to for his birthday a couple of years ago. It was a games store. Now it's an adult film and paraphernalia store. I couldn't tell from the outside, so I went it. It was pretty cool, especially for me. The guys in the store got all quiet as I walked around. Anyone touching anything immediately dropped and put his hands at his sides. It was hilarious, but I really wanted to get home, so I left. (I must go back with John.) I found the B and D train station and decided to take the B home. Ah home. I remembered it well.

Alas, alack! Another 20 mins to hear Ms Crackly Voice say ... well, I can't tell you what she said. In fact, I cannot even tell you exactly it was a she. The D came and I took it to 59th St. I was very happy to get off because a guy in a wheelchair sat in front of me and stared down my t-shirt while I was reading. I wanted to hit him with my book AND Kijani's Transformer toy.

I got out and decided was going to take th M7 home. But then I saw Whole Foods across the street and felt I MUST. GO. THERE. NOW. Powerful draw, Whole Foods is. One is opening up in my neighborhood and people are up in arms. Screw you, people. Whole Foods is the bestest!

I bought stuff and lolly-gagged over the flowers and finally left the people place to find the M7. On the bus ride home (in the right direction this time) I finished the book. I was in tears. It was like reading about what I went through with Le Pie, minus the supportive husband and father. That's the part that made me cry the most. I actually think I would love to have a child with a man who actually wants the baby and wants to take care of me while I have our baby. But that's a post for another time.

It was great, four hours later, to be home.

the lsat chronicles - score

I got my score last week - a 153 in the 56th percentile. Not good enough.

I was so delflated when I saw it. I rang John immediately and told him I was wanted to re-do it in September. It meant another $132 but at least I could take the Kaplan course again for free. I decided not to do the exact same course again but another one that is more tailored to people who have taken the exam and need a push for the harder questions. I also got a terrific tutor, as my own Tutor has left to go to law school.

Part of me wants to tackle it now and part of me feels so dejected. I was hoping to get over 160 and get on my recommenders, finish my personal statement and get the applications ready. The class does not start until July 19 so I have time to work on my statement and my recommendations. At the same time, I want to make sure I have time to spend with the kiddie.

John is on vacation this week but so far he has mostly slept the days away and stayed up at night. We've done nothing together and we have no ready money with which to do it, even if I could convince him. He and Le Pie are headed to CT tomorrow to visit Jess and Bri and I will be home. My brother is coming to visit on Sunday and we're trying to save a little money with me not going, not having to board Jackson etc. I still have to tell my brother about the score.

I thought that by this time the LSAT chronicles would give way to the law school chronicles. But, I guess not.