recovering

On Tuesday, I hurt my back while bending over to open to one of Pie's drawers. I felt the pain like a hot iron across my hips, searing into my lower back muscles. I immediately straightened up and realized after that if I didn't do it then, I would not have been able to.

I screamed when it happened and again when I straightened up. Pie was in the bathroom getting ready for a shower and yelled to ask if I was all right. I had no idea what to say, because I really wasn't. I forced myself to lie on his bed and tried to breathe through the pain.

I told him to bring me my phone and sent him back. I heard him get into the shower and wondered if to call 911. I decided to call John and see if I could get him to come home. I rang both his work and cell phones and no answer. I just redialed his cell phone over and over, hoping that someone in his office would see it vibrating on his desk (if he was in a meeting) and call his attention to it. 

Pie came out of the shower and I told him that if I cannot reach Daddy in the next few minutes, I will have to go to the hospital because I hurt my back very badly and I cannot move. The look on his face almost made me want to get up and dance the fandango. He look terrified for a moment. He asked if I was going to be all right. I sent him to get dressed and let me try to reach Daddy one more time.

I really meant to dial 911 as he stepped out of the room but then we heard the front door. I thought I was hallucinating from the pain. Then, Pie said, "Daddy," and I could have fainted from relief.

John never comes home early without calling. It's like an unspoken rule. I have to have time to hide the evidence of the lover and the crack before he comes home. 

We tried to get a hot pack under me but it was too painful for me to move on my side. I took some Tylenol and he went to refill my codeine prescription. He moved my laptop into Pie's room so I could at least watch a movie. I couldn't read or move, but I managed to turn my head so I could see the screen. I now have a crick in the left side of my neck.

The worst of it was when I had to go to the bathroom. I held it for as long as I could but I had to go. The pain was as bad as when I had my C-section. The initial pain was worse than any labor pain I had with Chris. Maybe it was a good thing I went through that C-section because at least I knew how to move.

I had to ease my legs off the bed first. Thank goodness Pie's bed is not very high. Then I managed to get on my side and walk my hands up until I was sitting. John helped me to stand up and I put my hands on his shoulders and we walked very slowly to the bathroom.

It's a day in your life when your husband has to pull down your jeans and underpants when you have to go potty. I was so embarrassed. John was so sweet, trying to make me laugh. I had to sit ramrod-straight and of all of the days to go number 2. Sitting upright is not conducive to pooping, let me tell you. I read about the correct way to poop and it changed my life.

I managed the rest of it by myself (thank God!) but had to call John to help me back into my underpants and to get my jammy pants instead of my jeans. Then make the trek back to the bed.

Sleeping on Pie's bed was a bitch. Sleeping on my back was a bitch. All the meds I was taking was making me nauseaous. I desperately wanted to sleep on my own bed but there was no way I could make the stairs.

John stayed home Wednesday and Thursday and took excellent care of me and last night I was able to go downstairs to my own bed. I've had to take something to help me sleep so I would not roll around too much and hurt myself. I cannot sit down for too long and I already emailed my LSAT teacher to tell her it looks like I cannot make it this weekend. I think the train ride to the Village would derail me.

I do feel a bit better and can move around. I cannot bend over, though, so Pie is chief picker-upper for the next few days. I am going to try to cook today because the boys have been eating pasta for 3 days and I ate macaroni and cheese for 2 days in a row and cannot look at it anymore.

my NY travels

I got home from a rather long, unnecessarily circuituous route home from a trip to Times Square. I got the gift for Pie's pal and headed outside the store. So far, so good.

I wanted to see what the Boardwalk hoopla was all about, so I took a walk up the street. It was okay. I guess I'm not enough of a New Yawker to be as ticked off as John. There were fewer tourists on the sidewalk, but only for the bit where the street was blocked off. After that, it was back to every person for herself.

So I decided to walk down to 6th Ave to catch the M7 home. But since I have no actual sense of direction, I took a chance and turned left. Wound up walking towards 8th Avenue. Ah well. I didn't bother to turn around and decided to keep walking till I hit a bus stop or subway stairs.

I think it was 45th Street I was on and it was fabulous. The entire street was filled with back-to-back restaurants. It's one block off the street with all the theaters and it must be lovely to go see a show and then just walk down the street and have your pick of foodies. I was enthralled. I do not think I ever took so long to walk one block in my life.

I got to 9th Ave and found a bus stop that would take me right to my flat. Lover-ly. I bought a Vitamin water to beat the hit and jumped on the bus that pulled up right as I walked out of the deli where I bought my water. I was feeling good.

However.

Isn't it always a however?

I didn't realize the bus was going downtown. I live uptown. I heard the driver say "Last stop" and wondered if I was in Brooklyn! Ack! Where the frak was I?

How could I not know where I was? Well, yesterday I picked up Heather Armstrong's book "It Sucked and Then I Cried" from the library. I requested it ages ago and had to wait for over 200 people to get through their copies before I could get it. I started it last night and even though I read her blog every day, I could not put it down.

I took the bus to Toys R US so I could read and thought I had a nice long bus ride ahead of me to read more on the way home. Well, the long ride part was true but I was so engrossed in the book that I never raised my head to see I was going the wrong way.

(Aside: Bellie: if those plans are still the plans, run out and buy this book now! NOW! I was trying to find a 2nd hand copy to send to you but I think all the women who bought the book are keeping it in the waistband of their jeans to swack the fathers of their children!)

Anyhoo, so I get out on Hudson Street and had to laugh. It was originally my intention to go to the toy store and then head down to this new park called The Highline to see if I wanted to go there to watch the fireworks along the Hudson River. And here I was, just a few blocks away!

Well, to punish myself I didn't go see the park. I found the train station and went to take the C train home. 20 minutes in the blistering station (not complaining, I enjoyed every second of being outside in the heat. No fucking winter!) a crackling voice said something about no uptown A or C service. So I took an E to 34th street and walked out to look for that elusive 6th Ave again.

There was this lovely map thingy outside Madison Square Garden, with landmarks and everything so I didn't have to deal with north and south. I found this store that John and I had taken Drew to for his birthday a couple of years ago. It was a games store. Now it's an adult film and paraphernalia store. I couldn't tell from the outside, so I went it. It was pretty cool, especially for me. The guys in the store got all quiet as I walked around. Anyone touching anything immediately dropped and put his hands at his sides. It was hilarious, but I really wanted to get home, so I left. (I must go back with John.) I found the B and D train station and decided to take the B home. Ah home. I remembered it well.

Alas, alack! Another 20 mins to hear Ms Crackly Voice say ... well, I can't tell you what she said. In fact, I cannot even tell you exactly it was a she. The D came and I took it to 59th St. I was very happy to get off because a guy in a wheelchair sat in front of me and stared down my t-shirt while I was reading. I wanted to hit him with my book AND Kijani's Transformer toy.

I got out and decided was going to take th M7 home. But then I saw Whole Foods across the street and felt I MUST. GO. THERE. NOW. Powerful draw, Whole Foods is. One is opening up in my neighborhood and people are up in arms. Screw you, people. Whole Foods is the bestest!

I bought stuff and lolly-gagged over the flowers and finally left the people place to find the M7. On the bus ride home (in the right direction this time) I finished the book. I was in tears. It was like reading about what I went through with Le Pie, minus the supportive husband and father. That's the part that made me cry the most. I actually think I would love to have a child with a man who actually wants the baby and wants to take care of me while I have our baby. But that's a post for another time.

It was great, four hours later, to be home.

the lsat chronicles - score

I got my score last week - a 153 in the 56th percentile. Not good enough.

I was so delflated when I saw it. I rang John immediately and told him I was wanted to re-do it in September. It meant another $132 but at least I could take the Kaplan course again for free. I decided not to do the exact same course again but another one that is more tailored to people who have taken the exam and need a push for the harder questions. I also got a terrific tutor, as my own Tutor has left to go to law school.

Part of me wants to tackle it now and part of me feels so dejected. I was hoping to get over 160 and get on my recommenders, finish my personal statement and get the applications ready. The class does not start until July 19 so I have time to work on my statement and my recommendations. At the same time, I want to make sure I have time to spend with the kiddie.

John is on vacation this week but so far he has mostly slept the days away and stayed up at night. We've done nothing together and we have no ready money with which to do it, even if I could convince him. He and Le Pie are headed to CT tomorrow to visit Jess and Bri and I will be home. My brother is coming to visit on Sunday and we're trying to save a little money with me not going, not having to board Jackson etc. I still have to tell my brother about the score.

I thought that by this time the LSAT chronicles would give way to the law school chronicles. But, I guess not.

today

I suppose I owe myself an LSAT chronicles update, but I had such a good time today that i don't want to think about that right now. The lime at MoJo's pulled me out of my funk in a splendiferous way. 

I told the husband, while we were on the bus to their house, that I was feeling a little melancholy. He offered to show me a big melancholy. I think that's when things started to turn around.

I thought, before that, I would have to turn it on. That would be hard to maintain, given how I was feeling. But John and Pie were already in such good moods, it was infectious. By the time we got there, I was happy to be outside in the sunshine.

Joe and Maureen's friends, many of whom I've never met, were terrific. I actually forewent the people I did know to chat with people I've never spoken to before. One couple took to Pie like ducks to water and we got on like a house on fire. Once we realized how much we had in common, I had to force myself to leave them to go talk to the people whom I did know. Then, the lime got even better with them because they had me laughing about all kinds of things. Especially Ryan. What a lovely guy.

Sometimes, it's hard to be myself here. Today, I just didn't think about it. I just wanted to be me and not think about what John would say or the LSATs or anything else.

I left with the couple we befriended, who offered in the absolute sweetest way to give us a lift home. Le Pie and the husband wanted to stay behind. Our original plan was to stay to watch the Yankees plays the Mets at Joe's but I was thinking about the rain and how great it was to get a ride home. But Pie really wanted to stay and John's pals put him up to asking to stay, so I left alone.

It was a good time riding home, talking with my new friends. Poor Jackson was climbing the walls to go outside when I got in at nearly 9 p.m. and, as sorry as I was to leave the lime and the game, I was glad I came home to walk and feed him.

Thank you and g'night.

shakespeare in the park - twelfth night

Anne Hathaway is not the only reason to see "Twelfth Night". I am sure her name is the draw, and she gives a wonderful performance as Viola/Cesario, but the rest of the cast is nothing short of amazing. Hathaway holds her own and she better, because the acting quality is fantastic.

I am not a fan of Shakespeare's comedies. I have always been drawn to the tragedies, my favorite being "King Lear". I also enjoy the histories, and they are my favorite to study. I first met "Twelfth Night" in 3rd form and I read it with my father. It was the only play we were to read together, as he passed away just after. "As You Like It" and "Much Ado About Nothing" came later in high school but I always found them overrated.

So, with a soft spot for "Twelfth Night", I joined a virtual line to get tickets to see the play. It's a random choosing so I was very lucky to get tickets on Wednesday. I was so excited. I went to pick them up just after 6 but they didn't let people into the Delacorte Theater until 7:45, so it was a wait. And with the monsoon weather we've been having, it was a wait with my heart in my throat.

I thought I dressed well for the weather. I wore a sweater over my tank and took my raincoat and umbrella. But it was still cold. Very cold. People brought blankets and I wished I'd thought of that but I was a Shakepeare in the Park novice. People around me commented that it was much better this way than when it is muggy and hot because it just feels uncomfortable with so many people.

I got a seat at the end, near the aisle, with a terrific view of the stage. I'll post some pictures over on Facebook a little later. You weren't supposed to take pix but I had no flash on my camera phone, so I got some before the play started. I wanted to take a couple of the actors while the light was still good but there were a lot of ushers around me so I didn't get the chance. Besides, when the play started, I didn't want to do anything else.

I do not think I have ever laughed so hard with this play. The interpretation was hilarious and the actors used the language as if they spoke it every day of their lives. It reminded me of "Romeo + Juliet" when Claire Danes screams "My only love sprung from my only hate!" It was a way of hearing the words leap off the page and make you forget it was written nearly 500 years ago.

It was Hamish Linklater who ran away with the show with his portrayal of Sir Andrew Aguecheek. He was delightfully foppish and brought a wickedly funny and, dare I say, sympatheic element to the naive and manipulated Aguecheek. I never like Aguecheek in the play and never warmed to him in any other production I've ever seen. But this time, I laughed so hard, I cried whenever he was on stage.

It wasn't just what he said, it was all the little non-scripted actions and nuances that Linklater brought to the character that made him endearing. I found myself longing for him to return to the stage, despite the fact that I knew exactly what was going to happen. I wanted to see him fall, frown, and hear him whine in his high-pitched voice that never managed to become annoying. He wore a long, flaxen wig and I wanted to die everytime he flipped his hair.

He was given every opportunity to shine with the bawdy and ridiculously funny antics of Maria, Sir Toby Belch and Feste, with Fabian (Jon Patrick Walker) joining in for good measure. Julie White, a tiny thing, gave Maria a jauntiness and life to her mischief. Jay O. Sanders played Sir Toby and swung his bulk around with ease. He and White had terrific chemistry on stage and if I found it unbelieveable that Sir Toby and Maria got married in the play, I didn't feel that way this time. Their interaction was as much courtship as it was to create high jinks.

The Fool sings a great deal in the play and David Pittu was ideally cast as Feste. His voice was nothing short of divine. He sings a song for Orsino (Raul Esparza), who joins in as Viola/Cesario looks on in pain, and he, too, has an amazing voice. The songs, and the vocals, added another dimension to the entertainment that I didn't expect. Just to sit back and enjoy someone's magnificent voice was delightful.

Hathaway sang in her first scene as Cesario and she is always a treat to hear. Audra McDonald, as Olivia, only joins in during the last song but just a few notes of her lovely operatic voice is enough.

Speaking of McDonald, she brought a sweet girlishness to the role of Olivia. She giggled and twirled and the delicious look on her face when she thought there were two Sebastians had me falling out of my seat.

And couldn't leave out Michael Cumpsty, in the funny but thankless role of the unfortunately-named Malvolio. His letter-reading scene was hysterically funny, as was his appearance in yellow stockings with cross-garters. Words cannot do justice to that image. That he had to pause to let the audience's laughter die down in both those scenes, should give some idea.

The rain held off until the very end, when a light drizzle started during the last song, which includes a line about the "wind and the rain". When Feste sang it, he looked up and laughed and got a rousing round of applause, deservedly.

It was a delightful performance. I didn't realize I knew most of the dialogue until I sat down and "season'd a brother's dead love" took me back to Roydon Salick's Shakespeare I. Ahhh, the memories.

So, if you're in New York between now and July 12, I recommend lining up, online or physically, to get your free tickets and enjoy Shakepeare in the Park - Twelfth Night. I can guarantee you will enjoy yourself hugely.

potato love

Last night, I was still too tired to make real dinner so I went to one of my favorite easy go-to meals for the guys: eggs!

Pie loves breakfast food at dinner and I made him a hot dog omelet with toast with butter and jam and a cup of honey vanilla chammomile tea. There was nothing left when he was done.

For John, I had a couple of boiled potatoes left over from potato salad I made earlier this week, so I cut them up and sauteed them in some olive oil. I added some Mrs Dash all-purpose seasoning and some dill and served them over a lovely, puffy omelet. He loved it.

He asked me what I put in the eggs and I said, "love". He gave me a John-look and I told him what else I put in it. He wandered around the kitchen a bit and then pulled up a stool by my legs and gave me puppy-dog-John and asked me to make him some more of the potatoes, just the way I made them. "And don't forget the love," he said. I reminded him how he scoffed at my love earlier, but he looked so cute so I got up.

There was only one half of a potato left and he gave Pie a taste, who almost died dead at how good it tasted. John found a cuter face than his own and just gave him the rest. Somehow, it got the name "potato love" and exortations were made to Mummy to please make more. But I wasn't going to boil potatoes at that hour, especially since I was so tired. I promised to make more today.

Pie has a school picnic today and it's pot luck. We're taking some pesto pasta from FreshDirect. It has always been a big hit at our parties. There is probably going to be a ton of food for the kids so it would be nice for the grown-ups to enjoy something that is not a mini-hot dog.

So the delivery came this morning and Pie saw the potatoes in the box. I had forgotten all about yesterday. It happens at 6:30 in the morning, what can I say? Anyhoo, he didn't forget and reminded me I have to make "potato love" for him today. Who can refuse?

the lsat chonicles - test prep

Even though the results are not out for the June LSAT as yet, I wanted to write a little more about the test prep class I took and how it differed from when I was doing it on my own.

(I found this little gem after I started at Kaplan, and it was very helpful for both LSAT prep and law school admissions. I really couldn't find a more comprehensive blog about the LSAT anywhere else, and I really looked.)

I started my own prep late last year. I bought a Kaplan 2009 prep book and got it going with a friend. It was slow going. If I'd found Steve's blog at that time, I could have used some of the study methods he set out, but I was just plodding along.

I took a couple of prep tests in the meantime. One from and Kaplan and one from Princeton Review. I finished all the sections (there were no writing samples on these tests and only four sections) and scored the exact same on both. They were not bad scores for someone doing the test for the very first time but all of my work was instinct and not really based on any understanding of what I was doing.

Reading Comprehension was the easiest for me, but I read entire passages and absorbed everything. Logic Games and Logical Reasoning were pretty foreign and I wasn't always sure what I was doing.

I began to do some research into prep classes. I very quickly ruled out all but the big two. I chose Kaplan because the other one was just disorganized. They also didn't use real LSAT questions. I also went to a seminar they hosted and the woman kept pronouncing "recommendation" as "reeCOMendation" although she pronounced "recommend" correctly. That really grated on my every nerve.

I attended a couple of Kaplan seminars and was pleased with what I saw. I signed up for Kaplan Extreme and began my journey to law school in ernest.

I really got a lot out of the course. Every section was broken down and every question type identified. That alone was so much help. In the actual test, I found myself automatically identifying question type in LR and knowing exactly what to look for. Even better, I could rule out answer choices immediately.

I discovered a more constructive way to take the test. The word "triage" is now stuck in my brain. Tutor himself carved a space in my head for that because he never let us forget how important it was to take a minute and look at the games and RC passages and determine the order in which they should be done. At first I thought this was done by personal choice, but not so. By the actual test, it was automatic and became a part of time-management.

Not to say that there wasn't a pitfall. The LG section in the June 2009 test was no picnic and there was no way around doing what I did. I didn't finish and that killed me. I have no idea how I put that mess behind me and carried on, but I did. For the record, dinosaurs suck!

But there was no question I was better prepared for even that on the day of the test than people who studied on their own. The guy next to me and the number of people canceling their scores were evidence of that.

At the same time, being better prepared might not translate into a good score. Much like the politician in "The Suffrage of Elvira", I don't want to jinx myself. I have no idea how I did. Some mornings I wake up and feel very good about everything, even fucking dinosaurs. And other mornings I wake up and wonder if I should sign up for the September test now.